Self-Trust for Therapists in Private Practice
Guest post by Raina LaGrand of Root to Rise Somatics
“Is this allowed?”
“Am I wrong for this?”
“Will people think I’m stingy?”
“I wonder if I can get away with…..?”
What are the questions that come up for you when making decisions about your private practice?
Are they questions that respond to your personal needs and the systems that will make your work sustainable? Or are they questions that revolve around how your clients, colleagues, and other people will perceive you?
As therapists, many of us are drawn to this work from a deep place of empathy or personal experience. We know what it’s like to struggle and how important it is to have supportive relationships as we navigate this unpredictable world. This work is deeply personal for us.
I think this is the beauty of this work; that we get to practice and embody humanity in ways other professionals might not. And, at the same time, you might struggle to sort through the complexity of how to center yourself while, well, centering other people. Boundaries can be hard.
Building in Self-Confidence as a Small Business Owner
Now add in working in private practice, where you can’t just be a therapist, you also have to be the CEO - a job title you may never have imagined for yourself. If you’ve worked in agencies previously, you might even harbor resentment for business administrators as a result of seeing them make decisions in the interest of the business over the clientele. It may seem inconceivable that you could land in a space of honoring your true needs (and wants!) with regards to fees, the kinds of clients you like to work with, scheduling, and more without guilt. Practcing self-trust exercises (covered in the next section) to help build confidence as a small business owner.
Self-Trust Exercises
Check in with yourself to practice some self-trust exercises. Notice how these questions around what you want and need in your practice feel in your body. What kind of emotions or sensations do they spark? Are those emotions or sensations pleasant or unpleasant? Is there a sense of expansion or constriction? Connection or disconnection? Are these questions motivating, reassuring, or immobilizing?
In my experience, therapists often identify emotions in the fear and anxiety families. Body sensations that accompany these emotions can include tension in the chest, the heart or gut-dropping feeling, or tension. People often feel a squeezing in, even a desire to hide. But, of course, it’s different for all of us.
And the truth is, these things are kind of scary because they involve risk. It is a risk to go into private practice. It is a risk to charge upwards of $200. It is a risk to only work mornings. And these are all risks that impact your livelihood and wellbeing. It makes sense that you are tempted to go with what the “market” says, because if you fit in you can probably predict how things will turn out. And it’s better to go with what you know, right?
Imagine that one of your dear clients is sitting across from you asking similar questions about an area of importance in their life. While we all probably have clients who are comfortable with risk, spontaneity, or change, we’re also all probably familiar with the clients who play it very safe. The clients who would rather grit their teeth and bear it than be honest about what they want in their relationships or career, for instance.
And how do you support them? There may very well be times when you say “mmm, yeah, sounds like a good idea to avoid that!” But there are also a lot of times when you might think, “hmm, I wonder if you are more capable here than you realize. I wonder if there is some resource that can help you on this journey.”
What do you want for your clients? Is it freedom? The courage to speak up? To feel financially secure after a lifetime of financial insecurity? Because you should want the same for yourself!
Modeling Self-Trust Behaviors
Modeling behaviors can be something you do explicitly in session, but the impact is so much more when those behaviors come from values that you embody, confidently. And just like you might tell your clients, honoring your needs and boundaries, speaking up, or doing new things is, by nature, not always easy! Instead of promising ease or even success, you help your clients to not become so overwhelmed with their own internal experience of what’s happening that they concede on their intentions.
You, my therapist friend, can also grow your capacity to be with the discomfort that comes up when you are boldly honest. And some clients might leave you, it’s true. And some of your colleagues might not understand you, it’s true. But these things are going to happen regardless of how accessible we make ourselves. Because the truth is, everything in life involves risk. Especially the good stuff.
There’s a quote in the movie Eighth Grade, which came out in 2018 and will make you cry, where the main character's father encourages his daughter to be brave at school. He expresses that for a lot of things, you really only need that initial moment of courage to get started.
It’s the parts of us that are afraid to begin that hold us back. The parts who struggle to see into the future, aren’t so keen on experimenting and are much more comfortable staying with things as they are. Yes, sometimes experiments give us a lot more data about what doesn’t work, at which point we can return to the drawing board to make a new game plan. But experimenting with change is the only way we’ll ever find solutions to the problems in our lives.
Finding Your Self-Trust Resources
So what are the resources that help you tap into your courage? When you find your courageous resources, take time to notice how that courage feels in your body. Where does it live? What does it remind you of? What does it make you want to do? What does it make you curious about?
Because the more honest and courageous you are in claiming what you need - even if there are questions and concerns for which you don’t yet have the answers - the more likely you are to find the ease and fulfillment you’ve been looking for.
Now from that place, with that in mind, what are the questions you want to ask about your practice now?
About Raina
Somatic Therapists & Founder of Root To Rise
Raina LaGrand (she/her) is a biracial (Black and white) therapist and coach based in Ypsilanti, MI. In her practice Root to Rise she helps people struggling with stress and trauma related to identity, oppression, and belonging through the use of somatic modalities, Parts Work, and inquisitive practices that call forth the power of culture and the context of intergenerational and systemic trauma in healing. Raina also coaches other somatic therapists in building clinical confidence and a rooted therapeutic identity through her group coaching program, The Container.
Additional Self-Trust Resources for Therapists
Building Self-Trust as a Therapist in Private Practice Mind Money Balance podcast episode and accompanying blog post
Imposter Syndrome & Content Overwhelm in Private Practice Mind Money Balance podcast episode and accompanying blog post
Self-Paced Mini-Courses to help you with your private practice