58: Approaching a Healthy Relationship With Money with Dr. Amy Nasamran
A Healthy Relationship With Money
“I didn’t know money mindset was a thing . . . I knew there was something not quite right.” Dr. Amy Nasamran isn’t the only one who has felt this way. Amy joined me in a cohort of my group coaching program Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out, a program designed to help therapists with their money mindset. In this conversation with Amy, we cover what a healthy relationship with money is, examining the “why” behind saving, and sitting with discomfort when it comes to money. In this interview, I mention that both Amy and I found this New York Times article on Languishing to be validating.
Takeaways from Amy
What is a healthy relationship with money?
Amy asked herself what a healthy relationship with money would look like. I’d invite you, too, to think about what “healthy” means for you. Does it mean looking at the ins and outs of your spending plan once a month? Does it mean having your savings on autopilot so you can take a couple of vacations annually having “prepaid” for them through autosave? Does it mean regularly investing in your retirement? Or maybe it’s more of a feeling—feeling comfortable, confident, and relaxed when you look at your finances.
Examine your “why” behind saving.
Amy isn’t the first podcast guest to be a self-identified “oversaver.” And in my financial therapy work, over savers often come from backgrounds that are historically traumatized in the U.S. People who come from immigrant, refugee, or non-Christian backgrounds are more likely to “oversave.” Why? Because money is safety in many contexts. For folks who come from traumatized backgrounds, the ability to have cash on hand and readily available means they can quickly leave their homes if needed. If you fall into a historically marginalized background, it may be financial trauma rearing its head. To cope with it, first, acknowledge the reason you are saving so much. Second, kindly and compassionately tell. yourself something like “it makes sense you want to save. I’m safe with $X in the bank, and can start to safely spend on the things that are important to me.”
Sit with feelings of discomfort.
Money stuff is inherently uncomfortable for most people. When you start interacting with your money, those feelings of discomfort will arise. Instead of avoiding them, see if you can practice tolerating them. As in, “even though looking at my bank statements makes me uncomfortable, I know I can tolerate discomfort and that the intensity of these feelings will subside over time.”
More About Amy Nasamran
Amy Nasamran is a licensed psychologist and autism researcher at Michigan State University. She owns a private practice, Atlas Psychology, where she specializes in helping young children and parents break out of the power struggle and form stronger connections. She’s a mission to normalize and increase access to mental health care by making psychology friendly and accessible. Learn more about Amy on her website Atlas Psychology or find her on Instagram @AtlasPsychology.
Money Mindset for Mental Health & Wellness Providers
If you, like Amy, struggle to put a label on what’s happening with your money, but you know something is just off, I’d invite you to learn more about my group coaching program Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out. In my group coaching program that Krista was a founding member of, we’ll do just that. We start by digging into your money mindset and stories, transition toward finding a sustainable fee and talk about pricing boundaries, and end by covering the foundations of marketing and niching down. PLUS each participant who joins gets a beautiful and hardworking website from Monica at Hold Space Creative (I used her Andrea template that you are scrolling on right now!).