#1 Cause of Divorce According to a Financial Therapist
According to marriage.com, the #1 reason for divorce is infidelity, followed by money disagreements. In my opinion, it’s really financial infidelity that is causing divorces. (And if you still believe it’s traditional infidelity, name me one person who has cheated without spending a dime . . . I’ll wait).
Here’s the deal.
Money feels WEIRD to most people. In fact, some studies have said that people would rather talk about politics, death, or religion than money. This weirdness can lead to secretiveness which can lead to this thing called financial infidelity. So what is financial infidelity? It’s anytime a partner is hiding financially-related things from their partners. Up to 41% of American adults admit to financial infidelity (though they usually wouldn’t call it that). They agree that they have or are hiding accounts, debts or spending habits from their spouse or partner.
What Is Financial Infidelity?
This can look like hiding an account from your partner (I've seen both hidden debts in the form of credit cards and hidden assets in the form of a property their partner didn't know about).
It can look like spending a little extra money on clothes that are hiding in the closet without telling your partner you went shopping ("Oh this old thing? I've had it forever!")
This could be one partner financially helping out a family member (paying for their parents' senior living, paying for a niece's basketball camps) unbeknownst to the other.
The good news is that it’s *almost* never too late to start this dialogue with your partner. Most couples I work with say that the way that their spouse was hiding their money from them wasn’t the problem; it was the hiding of that spending that made them feel betrayed.
If you want some help starting that dialogue with your partner, be sure to grab my shiny FREEBIE “5 Ways to Start the Money Talk with Your Partner.” I give you five easy conversation openers to get the money party started (and if you follow me, you know I think money is, indeed, a party).
Now, if you are heading toward divorce, it’s important you know the financial implications, especially if you have a mortgage with your soon-to-be-ex. Make sure to read this important and informative piece by Bankrate “Divorce and Your Mortgage: Here’s What to Know.”