Guest Post by Kristie Plantinga of Best Therapists & TherapieSeo

I know you’ve probably heard “therapy is the best investment you can make!” a lot. It’s one of those things that you probably agree with in theory, but when you get down to the brass tacks of actually paying for high quality therapy, you’re suddenly not so sure.

I understand–I’ve been there. I actually work with therapists in my marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO, and my therapist directory, Best Therapists, and I still have had difficult moments parting with my hard-earned dollars for therapy.

But when I reflect on the immense changes that therapy has had on my life, I don’t regret a dime. I’m still investing in therapy to this day, and I continue to benefit from the wisdom of my therapists.

So in case you needed some encouragement to take the leap into high quality therapy, let me break down what high quality therapy is, why high quality therapy is worth the investment, and why it costs more.

Before we dive in, note that these are my opinions based on my experience. Your experience in therapy may be different, and that’s okay :)

What is high quality therapy?

As you’ve gathered by now, I’ve been in and out of therapy for… a while. I’ve received treatment from multiple therapists throughout the years, and I’ve learned different things from each therapist.

But my life really turned around when I started working with my soulmate (yes, soulmate) therapist. Our personalities clicked. She challenged my thinking and offered insight that I had never received anywhere else. She was the perfect therapist for me, and yeah–she was more expensive than the therapists I previously worked with–but the therapy I received was of the highest quality.

So what actually is high quality therapy, and what’s the difference between that and average (or below average) therapy?

Here’s my best shot at a one-sentence definition: high quality therapy is therapy administered by an emotionally-available specialist that results in first and second-order change.

That’s a bit of a mouthful, but I’ll break down each of those elements.

Emotionally available

Your therapist should have the emotional capacity to help you. A burnt out therapist will have difficult being emotionally present–compassion fatigue is a real thing. It’s not rocket science: therapy from a burnt out professional will result in worse therapeutic outcomes for you.

I remember a therapist of mine in particular was working a draining social work job while starting her private therapy practice on the side. I could tell from her energy that she was exhausted, so I avoided “burdening” her with some of my heavier traumas. We fell into a dynamic where I was her “easy” client who she would vent to about her own life. Eventually, I didn’t trust her enough to confront my heavier experiences, and we parted ways.

The best way for therapists to avoid this kind of burnout is to have smaller caseloads. We’ll get into this more later.

Specialist

In the therapy world, a specialist is a therapist who almost exclusively works with a population facing specific issues. There are specialists in basically anything you can think of: empty nesters, first responders, financial therapists (wink wink)–you name it, and there’s probably a specialist for it.

To receive high quality therapy, it’s crucial to work with a specialist. Not only do they “get” you (sometimes to an eerie, yet awesome degree), but they’ve typically pursued additional training that further prepares them to help someone just like you.

Essentially, with a specialist, you can cut to the chase. Less explaining, and more effective treatment. (As a nice little side bonus, specialists also make great book recommendations, which is great for you psychology-and-self-help-bookworms out there.)

First and second order change

I’m riffing a bit on this concept, but this is the best description I’ve found of what I experienced with my soulmate therapist.

The concept of first and second-order change is from the therapeutic theory family systems.

I understand first-order change as action-oriented change that helps you manage day-to-day life. For example, a first-order change I underwent in therapy was learning how to set boundaries.

Although first-order change is important, second-order change is its more sustainable and transformative older sibling. I think about second-order change as “graduate” level therapy, while first-order change is “undergraduate” therapy.

Second-order change has been defined as “a fundamental rewriting of the system’s underlying rules,” AKA, a mega mindset shift that changes how you see everything.

High quality therapy is highly actionable, of course–but your worldview should also seismically shift.

Going back to my example of boundary-setting, setting the boundary was the first-order change, but internalizing why I set boundaries was the second-order change. I decided that I set boundaries to improve my relationships, and so, with the assistance of my soulmate therapist, I slowly (and unintentionally, to be completely honest) developed a new personal philosophy of relationships.

In therapy, I learned that I had a tendency to blame someone else for the quality of our relationship, even though my people-pleasing behaviors were contributing to the unhealthy dynamic. So I changed my philosophy from “people don’t care enough about me” to “people cannot care for me if I don’t tell them what I need.” So by laying out my expectations for (and setting boundaries in) a relationship, my relationships become healthier and more fulfilling. Woohoo!

In high-quality therapy, you will develop personal philosophies about all sorts of things. From those philosophies, you can sustainably take action to live in more alignment with them. And that, in my opinion, is the transformation that we should all strive for in therapy.

Okay, rant over–let’s get to the money stuff.

Why is High-Quality Therapy Worth The Investment?

I’ve alluded to this a bit, but when you have that “therapy is the best investment you can make! … but is it actually?” moment again, here are only a few of the life-changing benefits you can expect from high-quality therapy (if you put in the work, that is).

Improve your mental health

This is an obvious one, but yes–high quality therapists can help you drastically improve your mental health. Note that “improve” doesn’t necessarily mean “cure.” Many of us will never be truly free of our mental health struggles, but a high quality therapist helps you build resilience towards life’s many trials and tribulations, including recurring mental health issues.

Improve your relationships

Relationships are our greatest source of joy, but they’re also our greatest source of pain. A good therapist will help you tease apart your relationships and help you assess your role in problematic dynamics.

Healing my relationships (or ending them) has been invaluable. With therapy, I feel like I’ve gotten back years of my life with my own family and friendships!

Live your best life

It’s cheesy, I know… but if this doesn’t sell you on therapy, what will??

When it comes to living our best lives, we all get in our own way. Our traumas are not our fault, but how we choose to live with them is one of life’s greatest responsibilities and callings.

When you hold yourself back, your quality of life suffers. If we run a quick costs-benefits analysis, the results our clear: if we don’t address our issues in an exceptional therapeutic setting, we have a lot to potentially lose or miss out on:

A fulfilling career
Loving relationships
Healthy habits
Moments of happiness
Inner peace and satisfaction
A sense of purpose in life
Clarity and wisdom

… and so much more. If investing in high quality therapy is all that stands between you and those things, it’s a no-brainer, right?

Gain wisdom

Speaking of wisdom, I think wisdom is a highly underrated result of exceptional therapy.

The best therapists I know remind me of what we would refer to as “sages” in historic societies; they’re the empathetic leaders who gently guide their people with compassion and wisdom.

Gleaning wisdom from your therapist’s experience and perspective on life is in my top three. Wisdom is always applicable, and it helps us address the underlying wounds and thought patterns that keep us from living to our full potential.

Build resilience

Therapy won’t fix everything, and it certainly won’t prevent the world from continuing to be a triggering place.

But in therapy, you’ll learn how to better tolerate the ups and downs of life with coping mechanisms (first-order change) and personal philosophies (second-order change). I love this Ted Talk on the concept of “grit”–resilience’s close cousin–and how powerful it can be. Check it out!

Why Does High-quality Therapy Cost More?

You’ve probably heard someone complain about how therapy is “expensive.” The term “expensive” is an extremely loaded term, in my opinion, and I resent it being thrown around when discussing the monetary value of someone’s time. But I get it–high quality therapy costs more than low quality therapy. Here’s why.

HIGH-QUALITY therapists (more often than not) don’t work directly with insurance companies

To put it mildly, insurance companies cramp your therapist’s style.

Insurance companies often reimburse therapists at insultingly low rates, which requires therapists to see a high number of clients per week. More often than not, this leads to an unsurprising outcome–therapists experiencing burnout, which ultimately affects the quality of care YOU receive. In addition to encountering burnout, you may face other challenges when seeking therapy with your insurance, like your insurance provider restricting the number of covered sessions. Finally, in-network therapists are obliged to provide a diagnosis, whereas out-of-network therapists are not bound by this requirement. (Please remember that therapists themselves are not to blame; this system was created by insurance companies.)

TLDR, if you want high quality therapy, don’t expect to pay a $20 copay. Plus, do you really think that you’d be invested in the therapeutic process if you spend what amounts to the cost of a Chipotle burrito and a Snapple? My guess is no.

Feel those dollars leave your bank account (even if that amount is proportionate to your income–you can ask therapists if they offer “sliding scale” spots). Trust me: you’ll be way more committed to the process.

Note that just because your therapist doesn’t work directly with your insurance company doesn’t mean that you can’t use your insurance to help pay for therapy.

Research your out-of-network benefits–your insurance company may reimburse you for a percentage of your therapy sessions (in some cases, up to 80%!).

You can use our free out-of-network mental health benefits checker on Best Therapists. You’re welcome 😉

High quality therapists have smaller caseloads

High quality therapists combat burnout and compassion fatigue by seeing fewer clients than other therapists. Because they see fewer clients, their rates are higher. That’s pretty simple math.

On top of that, therapists who have smaller caseloads are great role models. In our society, therapists are often shamed into being martyrs for their clients. So if your therapist has a limited caseload, that means they took the brave step of setting boundaries and rejecting a system that keeps them burnt out (and poor). I think that’s pretty awesome, and that’s certainly the type of human I want coaching me through life.

High quality therapists’ fees may reflect their abilities

This is the same principle as in most industries: more senior professionals have higher salaries. Higher performing athletes make more money. Taylor Swift charges more per ticket than your fave indie artist with 1,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. High quality therapists stay up-to-date on the latest research and interventions, and that takes time and money. Too many therapy-goers think they are paying a great therapist for 50 minutes of their time. They aren’t; you are paying for a lifetime of experience and education that allowed them to distill their expertise into a 50-minute session.

Great therapists charge more because, well–they can. And should.

How to find a high quality therapist

Are you sold on high quality therapy? Here are a few ways to find your soulmate therapist.

Places to avoid

In general, here’s where you likely won’t find high quality therapy.

From a mental health startup like like ones that rhyme with Shmetter Kelp or Gawkplace (did someone say lawsuit?).
From a burnt out therapist who sees 30+ clients per week (again, no shade to them–it’s not their fault).
From a mental health app that allows you to “therapize yourself” with AI (watch this video; skip to the 7:38 timestamp).

You might get some insight and tips for improving your mental health, but my guess is that you’ll grow out of these quickly.

Plus, by supporting these types of businesses (excluding the therapist who accepts every insurance under the sun and is hustling to make ends meet), you support some seriously shady businesses.

Places to start

There are lots of ways to find an excellent therapist, but keep in mind that it might not be an instantaneous process. Finding a therapist takes time, so prepare yourself for a potentially lengthy search.

Google

This is one of my favorite ways to find a specialist.

Simply type your location (city or state), the specific issue that you’d like help with, and the word “therapist” into Google. For example, “NYC codependency therapist.” Browse through the results, find a few therapists, and start setting up consultations!

Directories

Directories are a popular way to connect with therapists.

There are tons out there, and some even offer matching services. However, if you’re looking for quality, you might want to try out my directory: Best Therapists. We vet therapists for quality (learn more about our vetting process), so you can focus on fit (AKA soulmate potential).

Are you ready to invest in high quality therapy?

I believe that every therapist we work with has a place and time slot in our life. But if you’re ready to experience therapy on a whole other level, take the time to find a high quality therapist and make it a financial priority in your life. You’ll be surprised by the returns–and I don’t mean the financial ones alone.

Good luck on your therapy search!

Why High Quality Therapy is Worth the Investment

Guest Post by Kristie Plantinga of Best Therapists & TherapieSeo