I Don't Want To Check My Bank Account
Updated October, 2023
Don't want to check your bank account? You aren't alone. More people share that they get worried, anxious, or on edge checking their bank account balance and just avoid it. Sadly, ignoring what's in, or not in, your bank account won't change things, so it's best to have an idea of what money is coming into your account, moving out of your account, and making sure all the transactions were ones you made. I find people don't want to check their bank accounts because they experience financial anxiety.
Why You Should Check Your Bank Account
Checking your bank account is an important part of practicing financial self-care. Lots of people avoid this step of financial planning because of anxiety. Sometimes, it's the anxiety of seeing a lower bank account balance than they'd like, and other times it's the anxiety of reconciling all the transactions (made all too easy with the ability to save a credit or debit card on google or Apple pay).
Logging into your bank account, you should ensure that all of the transactions are ones you really made. To do this, scan the transactions for deposits (like a paycheck or tax credit) and withdrawals (such as a debit card purchase or credit card payment) and make sure they line up with your memory.
Tracking your expenses by looking at your bank account is often cited as one of the building blocks of creating a budget (if you're new here, I don't like the term budget and have all of my expenses on autopay). While I don't think you need to check your bank account daily, if you are creating a spending plan or budget, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with your actual spending habits. Many people underestimate how frequently we swipe our debit cards or shop online, leading to accidental overspending. Checking your bank account and seeing your actual spending is a good first step in having a healthy relationship with money.
What is Financial Anxiety?
Much like traditional anxiety, financial anxiety is feeling nervous, worried, or on edge when it comes to engaging with money. Financial anxiety can be experienced by anyone, regardless of income or net worth. Financial anxiety isn't a bad thing, per se. Experiencing a response of anxiety can be like the low washer fluid alert in your car: it’s a little reminder that something is up, and it’s time to pay attention.
Still, it can become problematic if it gets in the way of you engaging with your money, completing financial tasks, or engaging in activities or hobbies.
Financial Anxiety Symptoms
Financial anxiety symptoms are a lot like traditional anxiety symptoms. Financial anxiety symptoms show up in three domains: our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Financial anxiety thoughts might include ruminating about past money mistakes, worrying about future money moves, or being on edge about what's going on financially right now.
A few examples of financially anxious thoughts are:
"I'm worried I'll never be able to retire"
"I'm scared that I won't be able to figure out how to budget."
"I'm nervous that I'm so scared of spending money that I won't be able to enjoy it."
Financial anxiety symptoms also show up in our feelings and behaviors outside of our thoughts. Financial anxiety can feel physical, like experiencing a racing heart, dizziness, or nausea. It can also be more emotional, such as feeling worried, anxious, or on edge. When we experience financial anxiety, it can also impact our financial behaviors. Financial anxiety can lead to avoiding money tasks (like not checking your bank account regularly) or compulsively checking on monetary things. For some who experience financial anxiety, the sensation of needing to check on financial things can be obsessively refreshing retirement accounts, double-checking on the stock market, or constantly consuming financial podcasts to have up-to-date information about the world of personal finance.
When layering on the emotions, feelings, and behaviors to the examples of financially anxious thoughts, it can look like this:
"I'm worried I'll never be able to retire. It feels like a heaviness in my stomach and a racing heart. Because I'm so worried about retirement is out of reach, I avoid meeting with HR to set up my 401k plan at work."
"I'm scared that I won't be able to figure out how to budget. This feels like dizziness in my body, and a sense of uneasiness. I get so fearful of budgeting and messing it up that I go to extremes. I either join "no spend" challenges and check on my money all the time, or I avoid looking at my income and expenses. It's hard to strike a balance."
"I'm nervous that I'm so scared of spending money that I won't be able to enjoy it. I get literal sweaty palms and tightness in my throat when I think about doing something like going to brunch with my friends. When I think about a big purchase like a new mattress or refrigerator, those feelings get even worse. Because I'm so anxious about spending money, I end up avoiding social situations more than I want to."
Tips to Help You Check Your Bank Account
As illustrated above, financial anxiety might make it hard to check your bank account. If you experience financial anxiety symptoms, take it one step at a time. Decide on the financial goal you are working toward, plan out the financial cost, and address financially anxious thoughts or feelings.
Create a Plan: For example, if you experience financial anxiety over social spending, let's look at saying "yes" to one meal out with friends per month. Compassionately and kindly talk yourself through the logistics of doing so. "I know they go to brunch the first Sunday of the month. I bet they spend between $30-50 each on food and drinks. I know when I look at my checking account, I can safely spend $30-50 once per month." When the invite comes, or when you ask to join your friends, plan on physically feeling a bit anxious and say to yourself, "it's ok to feel a little anxious. This is my body's response to stress, and I know that it's temporary."
Give Yourself a Schedule: If you are fearful of checking your bank account, give yourself some guidelines on checking in on your money. You could tell yourself that you'll login to your online bank account twice per month. Set a quarterly reminder to look at your retirement allocations, tax withholding, and other large money tasks for more significant financial tasks.
Phone a Friend: There's nothing wrong with getting some financial and emotional support. If you struggle with financial anxiety, reach out to a friend for support and external accountability. It could be as simple as texting a friend, "I have to file my taxes this weekend, can you ping me Sunday to make sure I did it?"
Should I See a Financial Therapist?
Financial anxiety, while normal, doesn't always feel good. Note whether or not your financial anxiety symptoms are time-limited or situational. An example of situational financial anxiety is experiencing nervousness around checking your retirement account. Upon logging in and looking at where your money is invested, you feel a sense of relief, and your fear dissipates. If your financial anxiety isn't time-limited or situational, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist.
You aren't alone if you don't want to check your bank account. However, I hope that some information on the importance of seeing your money's balance, learning about financial anxiety, and practicing financial self-care helps.
As a financial therapist and speaker committed to destigmatizing conversations around financial anxiety and promoting well-being, I offer insights and tools to empower individuals to navigate these challenges. You can encourage your workplace or organization to bring me in to speak about financial anxiety, understanding money shame, nurturing financial wellness and more! Learn more and book me here: