How to Deal with a Layoff: Coping with the Emotional Effects of Job Loss

Whether you knew it was coming or it caught you completely by surprise, being laid off is a punch to the gut. I want to start this post by extending my deepest empathy and sympathy. Losing a job is tough, and it can feel like a whirlwind of emotions crashing into you all at once.

If you're reading this, you've probably been laid off recently and are trying to make sense of it all. I want to assure you that you're not alone. Even though it can feel like the most personal thing to ever happen, job loss is more common than we realize. In fact, 40% of Americans have been laid off at some point in their lives, and just in the last two years, 28% have experienced it. The news cycles certainly don't help either, with layoffs in technology and government sectors making headlines in March of 2024. But take a step back with me for a moment: while layoff news is loud and scary, overall, we're still in a good job market.

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, scared, or even angry. You’re probably facing a wave of emotions that keep changing from moment to moment, but the first thing I want to remind you is this: you don’t have to rush. I see so many people lose their jobs and immediately think they need to apply to a hundred positions by the next day. But that’s not necessary. Your mental, physical, and emotional well-being should come first. Giving yourself time to breathe will allow you to process, regroup, and prepare for your next steps as you cope with being laid off.

Job Loss Versus Layoff

I’ve intermittently used “layoff” and “job loss” interchangeably. A layoff, whether due to company downsizing, reorganization, or closure, is a job loss, triggering feelings of grief similar to those experienced after the death of a loved one, as it represents the loss of identity, income, and social connections. 

Emotional Stages of Being Laid Off

When you lose a job, it’s normal to feel like you’ve been hit with a whirlwind of emotions. Shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame—they’re all on the table, and they can hit in waves or even crash over you all at once. That shock you feel in the beginning? It’s like your brain can’t quite catch up to what’s happening. There’s this disbelief that something so sudden and life-changing could happen to you. Feeling angry with your employer, the system, or even yourself is natural. 

But I also want to address guilt and shame. You may find yourself feeling guilty, wondering if there was something you could’ve done differently or better. Let me tell you: you didn’t deserve this, and it’s not your fault. The shame comes in because our culture ties so much of our self-worth to our jobs. When you lose your job, it can feel like you’ve lost a part of your identity, but you are so much more than what you do for a living.

Anxiety is another common emotional response to a layoff. Your brain starts to spiral: “What does this mean for my financial situation? Will I get severance? How long can I float before things get tight?” The anxiety over losing a job can be overwhelming, but I want you to remember that these emotions are temporary. While they are more intense in the beginning, they’ll pass. You’ll be better equipped to determine what comes next once the intensity of your emotions dial down. 

Relief is normal, too. Especially if you felt burnt out, overworked, underappreciated, or bored in your previous role. That relief can feel conflicting, especially when paired with feelings of grief or sadness over the loss of routine. It’s important to acknowledge that relief. In fact, it can help you figure out what wasn’t working for you in that role and guide you as you search for something new that’s a better fit. 

Regardless of your feelings, please know that the psychological effects of being laid off are real and run the spectrum. 

Coping With Emotions in Healthy Ways

When processing emotions after a job loss, give yourself space to feel all of it. Coping with your emotions is important, and there are ways to cope with job loss emotions in healthier ways. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to go for a run to burn off some steam, do it. I’m not here to tell you how you should feel or for how long, but I do want to caution you against using less-than-helpful coping mechanisms like alcohol. You know yourself best; if coping with substances is a healthy short-term tool, go for it! If you know that you should avoid substances when your emotions are heightened, I encourage you to avoid them during the immediate period following a job loss. 

Job loss is a loss, and it should be treated as such. Losing a job can leave a massive void not only in our identity but in our routine and how we fill our days. Even if you saw the layoff coming or were financially prepared for it, it’s still a major shift in your day-to-day life. Feeling sad or even a little lost is normal when that structure suddenly disappears.

So, how do we cope?

Taking Care of Yourself After Job Loss 

One of the most important things you can do after a job loss is take care of yourself. Whether that means sleeping in, binge-watching TV, or cocooning yourself in a blanket for a few days—do it. Give your nervous system the space it needs to recover. Be mindful that this is a temporary coping mechanism. Give yourself time to rest, but don’t let it slide into an extended period of isolation or inactivity.

Think about the routines or habits that normally keep you grounded. Do you go for walks? Meet up with friends? Cook dinner for your family? Keep those things in your life, even if your financial situation changes. If your usual activities involve spending money, it’s okay to adjust. If you normally go out for brunch with friends, suggest having brunch at home. Or swap a pricey dinner for a cozy movie night. There are ways to maintain your routine by tweaking it to fit your new financial situation better.

Finding Control During Unemployment

Another way to help cope with the psychological effects of being laid off is to find things you can control. When you lose your job, it can feel like your whole world is spinning out of control. Finding small, manageable tasks you can start and finish can help you regain some sense of agency. Maybe that looks like starting a new craft project, baking something from scratch, or even organizing your space. The key is to focus on something with a beginning and end—something that lets you feel accomplished, even amid chaos.

Getting External Accountability After A Layoff

Another strategy I recommend is bringing in a little external accountability after a layoff. When we’re in a tough spot, isolating or putting things off is easy. Text a friend and say, “I’m going to hibernate for the week, but I need you to check in with me on Friday.” Having someone on the outside who can help pull you back into the world when you’re ready can be really helpful. It’s not about pushing yourself too hard but ensuring you don’t get stuck in an emotional or physical rut.

Moving Forward From a Layoff—At Your Own Pace

Ultimately, there’s no one right way to deal with a layoff. Everyone’s journey is different, and you can’t will yourself to “get over a job loss.” I hope you can take these strategies and make them your own. 

Focus on your well-being first, then slowly think about what comes next. What do you want out of your next job? What wasn’t working in the role you just left? These questions can help you move forward with clarity when you’re ready.

And remember, you’re not alone in this. Nearly half of Americans have experienced layoff anxiety, and many have been exactly where you are right now. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this.